


Solo

by Saralley



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Dib is lonely, M/M, They´re in college now, Zim left earth, inspired by a song, maybe Dib is also crazy?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-12
Updated: 2018-06-12
Packaged: 2019-05-21 12:08:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14915099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saralley/pseuds/Saralley
Summary: He wanted to fuck, but his heart was broken. He wanted to dance, but he couldn’t help crying when the alcohol clawed at his insides. He had been such a fool to let him leave.





	Solo

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by this song: [Solo by Clean Bandit and Demi Lovato ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JnfIa84TnU) and I hope you enjoy. It gets a bit dark there at the end though…
> 
> And thanks so much [Ylje](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ylje/pseuds/ylje) for looking over it again!

 

When  _ he _ had left, Dib had been devastated. Furious first, triumphant second, and then devastated.

It had happened during a warm summer night in their sophomore year of college. Their fighting was a constant that he had just made time for in his daily routine by now.

Dib was smart. Very smart. After high school he had been allowed to study at one of the country's best universities. Space engineering was the subject of his desire and while he learned a lot, his knowledge gained by reverse engineering irken spaceships was much broader.

When Dib had wanted to tell  _ him _ about his move across the country,  _ he  _ had just shrugged and said there was no point in fighting with no resistance.

So when Dib had entered his dorm for the first time, he wasn’t surprised to see an eccentric green house across the street, right out of his window. With a frown, Dib slammed his window shut, yet a small tingle in his belly betrayed his excitement at seeing his enemy.

_ He _ became known as the weird kid that followed Dib around and took anthropology classes. Nobody knew how  _ he _ had gotten into university, but Dib knew  _ he _ had his ways of gaining  _ his _ goals. Dib also knew he was the only thing from standing in the way of  _ his _ main plan. Or so he told himself. In reality he knew that  _ he _ wasn’t really trying anymore.

But they were still fighting. Constant battles for dominance, discussions about power, tugs and pulls on clothes.

After a while  _ he _ wasn’t considered the weird kid anymore. It was them being considered the weird kids. The weird couple.

Dib always denied it, but his belly betrayed him.

So when after another fight, about stupid ice cream to top it off,  _ he _ had just decided to leave, Dib couldn’t believe it. The young man was angry and raging.  _ He _ was so stupid, just running off like that!

But when the silence didn’t just last a day but a week, and  _ he _ hadn’t even shown up to any of his classes, Dib became worried. He thought maybe he´d finally won, maybe he´d protected earth and banished the alien. But the more he thought about it, the more his victorious feelings vanished and left nothing but emptiness.

Dib tried, he really did. He continued to go to class, he ate, he washed. But there was something missing; everything seemed dull, lifeless without the green pest to share it with.  _ He _ had gotten tall over the years, and when one day Dib had to look up to lock eyes with  _ him _ , he couldn’t help but swallow heavily. His belly betrayed him again.

When his fellow students commented on his missing friend, Dib just sighed but said nothing. There was nothing to be said. The black haired young man had already scanned all of earth for irken technology and had come up with nothing. The house was missing.  _ He _ was missing.

Dib´s emptiness yielded to restlessness. He missed the constant fights, the wrestling, the movement of body on body. So the smart kid found himself a replacement.

Dancing in the club was different, yet so similar. Bodies on bodies, pressed close, sweaty skin and movement that lead to exhaustion. Empty heads were filled with alcohol and Dib could almost see  _ him _ there in the crowd.

Almost.

Only when a different classmate gave him advice against broken hearts did Dib realize what he had been feeling. He wasn’t all that smart after all.

When the realization hit, Dib crumbled down crying. He didn’t go to class anymore. Why should he? There wasn’t any threat that he needed to protect humanity from any longer. There was nothing that he really wanted to do anymore.

Dib stayed in bed for a week.

Dancing was what got Dib out of his dorm again. He found himself in another club, grinding, imagining, smiling.

The picture of  _ him _ had become clearer and clearer over the last week. The more he had thought about it, the more he realized how far his infuriation had reached into his everyday life. There were empty spots in his schedule that he had unconsciously reserved for fighting with  _ him _ . Now there was nothing to do at those times.

When the next semester started he didn’t leave any room. He rather ended his classes earlier in the day and went out again.

He was known by now. His dancing skills had gotten better and better, yet he always went home alone. Dib´s heart had been stolen and nobody could make him come as good as  _ his _ image in his mind.

He remembered their fights,  _ his _ claws against his skin, pain turning to pleasure.

As he ground against another dancer, a good looking guy, maybe a head taller than Dib, he imagined again. Wanted to feel the pleasure of fucking, of finally actually going through with his desire, but he knew that again tonight he'd do it solo.

He wanted to fuck, but his heart was broken. He wanted to dance, but he couldn’t help crying when the alcohol clawed at his insides. He had been such a fool to let  _ him _ leave. He had been a fool when he hadn’t realized how much better they could be spending their time, how much more pleasurable.

Dib wanted to touch, but he got nobody. So he did it solo.

The music was loud and booming, beating along with Dib´s heart. The lights strobing, hiding the faces of the people around him. Dib lost himself, felt his body moving, felt the friction of others close to him, felt himself harden, but then left on his own.

At home the tears came again, left him longing as his hand moved along his flesh.

It´d been too long since he felt another´s touch. But it didn’t matter. Dib wasn’t even sure if he could ever forget  _ him _ . If he could ever move on. Dib was afraid that he was lost to the world.

He was on his own.

He just wanted to feel  _ his _ skin on his own. Dib wanted anything. Any sign of life.

But all Dib had were his own two hands and a bright green dildo that was used way too often. Dib wasn’t even sure if  _ he _ had a penis. Dib wasn’t sure about anything, didn’t know anything. He didn’t even know why  _ he _ had left.

Nonetheless, the raven spread himself slowly. He lay on his bed, his pillow between his legs as he rutted against it, the fingers of his right hand in his ass. He hated the noises he made. He hated how vulnerable he was, how dependent. But Dib longed for the feeling of being filled, of having something inside ever since the first time he had tried on his own.

Dib longed for it, for the short moment of pleasure, of heat inside his aching heart. But every single time the emptiness came back once he was done.

It wasn’t lasting.

He was on his own.

A year went by and while the pain wasn’t as imminent, the numbness had spread. Dib lacked all passion, grew cold towards his fellow humans, excelled in his studies. But even they bored him.

Only the thundering music in the clubs could make him feel anything anymore. But even that bored him more and more. He needed more, needed some actual touch. The last couple of times he had been in the clubs, Dib had come dangerously close to going home with people. He had made out with more than one guy, and while the lust burned in him, he had always denied them.

But Dib wasn’t sure if he wanted to deny himself any longer. He knew it wouldn’t be the same, he knew he'd probably feel even worse after, but he just needed to try.

_ His _ image was fading from Dib´s mind and maybe he'd just need a replacement? But at the same time, Dib didn’t want  _ him _ to fade. He couldn’t let go. He just couldn’t.

So when he found another random guy that night to make out with before leaving, the black haired man sighed into the kiss. The longing was deep in him.

However when the tongue that darted into his mouth didn’t feel like anything he´d felt before, Dib´s eyes opened in shock. He struggled lightly, but the stranger was holding him tight, his arms around Dib´s waist not letting him move an inch. The man's eyes were open as well, almost like he had expected Dib´s struggle, and the young man felt the other smirk against his lips. The kiss wasn’t broken and only after a painful minute of heated kissing did the other allow the Dib a break.

_ His _ stare was intense and heated. There lay so many emotions in  _ his  _ eyes, but Dib wasn’t able to decipher the feelings. He felt like he had been hit in the head, everything was swimming and heating up. This couldn’t be!

“You! It´s.. it's you, isn’t it?” he asked unbelieving. The stranger just smirked more and pulled Dib into another kiss, not giving him any time to think too long.

Their dance turned heated, more heated than before. Dib finally didn’t need to hide his desire any longer. He had  _ him _ right here, in disguise, but it was  _ him _ . Dib was sure of it! No human could have a tongue like that, the snakelike appendage driving Dib mad with desire as it coiled around his own tongue. 

Their dance reminded Dib of battles long lost, of fights that had been everything he had clung to. He felt hands, fingernails, claws? He felt heat, sweat and the lightheadedness of arousal.

This time when he was pulled towards the entrance he didn’t resist like all the other times, he didn’t say no, he didn’t pull back. He went along willingly. Hand holding  _ his _ .

Dib was pulled through dark streets, bird chirping speaking of the coming morning. He didn’t know how long they walked but when they came to a back alley, he knew that he had arrived.

There it was. The voot runner.

A hand drove into his hair as he laid eyes on the ship and his head was pulled back, exposing his neck to  _ him _ . Dib suddenly felt a sting, and then a tender kiss against his skin.

“You're mine, you know that by now, yes?” was muttered against his skin in a heated tone. “You're all that’s worth saving of this filthy planet.”

Dib moaned in agreement, and was picked up bridal style.  _ He  _ had grown even more since Dib had last seen  _ him _ and was now two heads taller than the young man. It seemed like  _ he _ had grown stronger too, Dib´s weight no strain at all. In a blink they were inside of the cruiser and left earth.

The young man was still stunned, his head was a mess from all the alcohol he had drunk that night. He wanted to talk to  _ him _ , to yell at  _ him _ for leaving him alone, to beg  _ him _ to continue where they had just stopped.

But most of all he wanted to see  _ him _ . Not this disguise; this blonde, green eyed, white skinned man who looked around the end of his twenties. No, Dib wanted to see and touch green skin, raspberry eyes, black antennae.

His messy mind thought and immediately went to action, Dib pulled at the others´ hair, trying to pry the wig off, scratched at the skin to find familiar green.

He never did.

He never went to space either.

 


End file.
